DVT, LIVE.

Umm.. so I like.. saw Dita Von Teese last Thursday night.

Live.

At a burlesque performance.

It was one of a few shows put on by her and others from the Goldfinger crowd as part of a promotion for a new line of Peach John lingerie.

The event was HUGE (packed, humid as Hell during the wet season and sweaty as a night club full of topless gay men).

Dita's act was amazing, stylish and sexy. When I grow up I want to have a body like her's. Just, maybe not as pasty. Though I'm kinda halfway there already.

Like I said, the event was huge. Celebrities were EVERYWHERE. I kept on seeing people who I was sure were famous, but turns out they just had great cheekbones.

In the interests of mingling with more celebs (hopefully Dita!!) and securing prime viewing positions, my companions and I were wondering how to get into the velvet roped-off VIP area (my suggestion of getting our male companion to seduce one of the bouncers didn't go down -- no pun intended -- very well), when suddenly the lights dimmed decidedly.

Noticing that there was minimal visibility AND that there was no one standing in our way, we simply stepped over the rope and mosied our way to the free bar.

I saw the Kano sisters in the flesh. Although, considering how much cosmetic surgery they've had, I'm not sure how much of them I bumped into (accidentally-on-purpose of course -- gal's gotta have SOME claim to fame) was actual flesh.

I kept on leaning over and asking my companions: "Is she famous? Is he famous? What about that one there? The one with what looks like a peacock sticking out of his head.. no no, not him, the OTHER one.."

Knowing that I'd want to brag about it later, I made my friends point out to me famousness in our midst.

Turns out that the woman next to me kitted in Charleston-era gear was fashion designer Junko Koshino.

I singled out a guy who was wearing a WHITE suit version (with a much kickier hat) of the suit on the left and commented on whether he was in fancy dress for the event. Well, of COURSE he was actually another fashion designer, Don Konishi.

Another specimen from the Japanese Celeb World of the Surgically Enhanced came in the form of Ayumi Hamasaki.

Now, I'm totally not into J-Pop at all, and I can't say I harbour any particular love for Ms. Hamasaki. I first encountered her music in '98 and was quite put off by her lack of talent. Other people out there obviously find her very talented indeed.. somehow... What also annoys me about her is that she blatantly rips off Madonna, in one instance appearing strapped to a cross during one of the live performances. HMMMMMMMMMMMM.....

Still, when I saw her saunter by where I was standing, I couldn't help the Tacky in me and pointed at her, yelling: "HEY! Isn't that Ayumi what's-her-name??? The one with the surgery??"

I waited around for ages, hoping to catch another Dita performance, but was instead presented with a series of .. whoops, I almost typed "lap dances" then.. a series of POLE DANCES every 15 minutes courtesy of the Goldfinger girls. They were were undoubtedly spectacular dancers, with their gravity defying, Look Ma No Hands acts of wonderment. With one performer,it was a case of: Girl Got Upper Thigh Muscles.

While waiting for another Dita act, from our elevated VIP position, we were in the perfect position to survey the masses.

Anyway, sans second Dita performance, I ended up leaving at 1.30am, cursing the fact that I had work the next day.

All in all, a very interesting and fun night. I love friends who invite me to things! YAAAY!